History makes us who we are.

Went for a really slow run after nearly 3 weeks of not running. Now I shall talk not so much about the run but what happened in between. While I was running about 400m in, a little black object appeared further down the road at first I could not make out what it was but because I was not wearing my specs, but as I got closer I noticed it was a dog trotting towards me- a not so friendly looking dog. It was a stray and as I approached it I took a slight detour around it. It was eying me and it started following me, soon it was barking and it start to look aggressive. I tried to stand my ground knowing fully that if I ran it would chase after me. But yet standing there would not help me either. I shouted at it and finally spotted a large log nearby. I took it and ran towards the stray shouting and hitting the floor as I neared it. It finally gave in and ran away. The rest of the run was uneventful, as I u-turned and returned back the same route I came from, I picked up a long stick and ran down the road. This time the dog was no where to be seen.

This brings me to the main topic of my post. We are who we are brought up to be. Take the dog for example, it would probably not have been so aggressive towards me if it was not a stay, if it was brought up with fun, loving and caring owners, it would probably have covered me in drool when I approached. Warranted, he had to be fierce because out there life is probably tough, food scarce. It could simply be mistreated before and now it decides to treat every human being a foe, it would be hunting for food to feed it's family somewhere in the woods? Who knows? The thing is that alot of who we are today is nurture. We may say that evil people are born not made, that may be true. But alot of the little things are due to our surroundings. I always wondered if competitive people exist because they are brought up in less well off families? I wondered if competitive people help others less because they always had to fight to help themselves first? I am extremely fortunate to have been raised in a well-off family and maybe because of this I am able to be "softer" towards those around me and be a little more helpful? Maybe I am right? Maybe there are some people out there who are both- not so well off but yet helpful to others? We are all different because we all have different histories.

Studying Medicine

Studying medicine is easy (what I think) all you need is repetition, confidence, time, a good sense of perseverance, no slacking around, no distractions and plenty of rest and exercise. Have all that and u are set.

19

Thank you all who wished me happy birthday (: A new year of life, a new outlook.

I need to change certain aspects of my life.

Rather now than later

I'd get stressed, I feel my face heat up. Sometimes I would feel my forehead get damp , sometimes I feel my heart rate increase. It is times like these I feel totally dejected and sad.

I get this quite often especially when I am studying medicine. It occurs when I am doing some form of practice questions on a topic I have just revised and which I am supposed to be fresh at. It happens and it's unavoidable but at least through these experiences I learn and hopefully do not repeat the same mistake again in the future..

I'd rather it now on a test paper than later in front of a patient where life and death is an issue.

Definitive

We all have things that defines us: our hates, our likes, our habits, our sins, our character. Some of which we wish to change, some of which we are proud of. I am no exception. Some things are harder to change others are easier. Others simply cant be changed. Whatever it is, it takes courage to admit something's wrong with you in order to carry on. It's not easy but it has to be done to continue improving. What you do defines you, not what u are.

"You'll make it one la"

People often hear about my experience in Med and after a few exchanges of words they end up saying "you'll make it one la" these words weigh a ton and it feels worse that there is a remote possibility that I might not be able to live up to their expectations. Please do not get me wrong, I do not have any intention of failing medicine but I guess it's good sometimes to be a little mentally prepared for a possibility. I will be trying my best. I can't fail, if I do things would go very very wild in my life. This is something I wanted for my entire life, take that away from me. It's like taking away the most important thing in your life. Go figure.

Jolly Jolly Christmas

Wow, one year just passed by in a flash. I spent my morning helping out at St Luke's hospital and these were the gifts I got from all the nice nice people there. I brought back my volunteer tag (middle) by accident but I guess in the end it ended a certain "shout out" to the picture. This tag has been with me since I started, the tag alone bears no significance but that the tag has been through with me is what that truly matters. It's hard to describe in words what I have learnt at St Luke's Hospital there's so much I received that I feel it would be nearly impossible to repay. The friends I've made I would probably not forget for a lifetime, the experiences I learnt would be those which I hold close to my heart. Today marks nearly a year and half as a volunteer and I'd like to thank EVERYONE whom I have crossed paths with. From the therapists to doctors to even the patients. You all have been an awesome bunch (:

A blog is meant to be reflective and memorable. Thus I shall take this time too to post a little thing on my thoughts about just some random things in general. I shall talk about Medicine and what I feel about the culture there thus far. It's been almost half a year since I started Med school but I still find it hard to find my spot in the class. Competition is no doubt keen and sometimes it gets pretty out of hand. I personally find it hard to get over this superficial relationship, I guess being brought up in nus high school for a good 4 years of my life and having some things happen there it'll take sometime for me to get over it. Perhaps I will never truly get over the whole competition affecting relationships part but maybe it's this exact thing that makes me special. I went into med school for the people, never for the pride, the money. I still remember clearly the lady whom had 8 bed sores. I remember the pain she had to undergo from me mistaking her "pain" for feeling cold. I swore to myself that given my capabilities, I will help these people. No matter how small the issue. Just to be there to listen to them would be enough. My grades aren't fancy. I know that, I might not make it through med school, I accept that. But while I am inside, I still stand a fighting chance. Somethings will have to be sacrificed, although it hurts me to do so but it has to be done. I hear people tell me that I should try to make friends in med school because these people will be my colleagues when we graduate. Maybe they are right, I've got 4.5 years more years to do so. However one thing is for sure. If I can't do it, I have failed as a doctor and I might even stop practicing. We'll see. Hopefully by then, we'd have matured and set our competitiveness aside. Perhaps, now we're still a little too young and immature to understand. Every day we learn and we grow, everyday is a new experience to understand.